Finally Giving "Dating" A Definition

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The ideal image representing the dating culture

Dating.

Oh boy, here we go. Today, we're talking about something bittersweet, something that a lot of people love and hate at the same time: dating. For most of the posts I've cooked up so far, we've been mainly talking about marriages and families, specifically. It's time that we talk about the very first step that people take to reach that point.

Now the reason I speak about dating in such a hesitant way is because, like I stated in the beginning, it's a huge struggle for everyone right now. Most people don't even agree as to what the term "dating" even means! It's also apparent that the dating culture all over the world is suffering right now. The statistics show a concerning number of young adults reporting never dating at all!

As a guy, I couldn't help but also notice that the statistics shown among young guys show that there is a huge drop in self-confidence when it comes to dating. This also has a correlation to confidence in a good marriage. Well, today my friends, I'm going to tackle this beast of a subject, and go over what dating is, and how we can improve it. For the guys reading this, I'm going to be focusing on you, because I think we all need some help to get our dating confidence back.

Okay, let's get started on the definition of dating. I think we can all agree we need to settle on one before we continue, right? For me, personally, the best way to define dating is by going over the three P's: Paid For, Planned For, and Paired Off. This is what separates dating from hanging out. When you simply hang out with someone, it isn't planned, nor is it necessarily paired off. Is it easy? Yes! Is it fun? Absolutely! Is it safe? One-hundred percent! But is it a date? No.

When you go on a date with someone, it is intentionally to get to know them in a setting that is already planned for and thought of. It doesn't always have to involve money, but if money is involved, that is also something that is taken care of. This DOES matter, by the way! I'll explain why that is in a bit!

Before I get into that, however, I want to talk to all the fellow guys out there for a second. Like I said in the beginning, we have a confidence problem when it comes to dating. Only one out of three guys say they have the confidence to ask someone out that they have a romantic interest in. There are a lot of factors that play into this, but I'm going to focus on the most powerful reason (at least to me): the experience of a former relationship. As of now, I've never been in a relationship before, but from what I've seen, guys are a lot less confident about going on dates when a former relationship doesn't go the way they've hoped.

With this in mind, how can we overcome this, and regain our confidence? The answer is that we need to stop targeting only one person individually. This is called dating exclusively. Please note that I'm not saying that when you are really serious with someone, you go and date other people. What I am saying is that when you go on a first date with a woman, do not only go on dates with her in hopes for it to become exclusive, as that is a recipe for disaster. Instead, go on different dates with multiple people!

This is not only a healthy way of dating, but it teaches you what kind of things you like in a potential partner by being with different people! It also helps teach you good dating skills for the person that you will eventually become serious with! When you go on dates with different girls, and you find one you really like, keep going on dates with her, and beware of hanging out! Intentionally planning and going on dates is crucial in a relationship, and the reason it matters so much is that it also affects marriage. If a couple goes on plenty of well-thought-out dates before marriage, that marriage is going to be stronger than a couple that only hangs out most of the time.

With that all being said, if there is anything I want people to take away from this blog, it's the proper definition of "dating" and the importance of going on lots of them! Let me know what your thoughts are in the comments! I hope this will help someone take on this abomination of a dating culture we're in!

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