How to Avoid the Baby Blues

 

Okay, guys and gals, welcome back to another episode of your favorite black guy yapping about your favorite topic! In today's yapping session, the topic is going to be about a spectacular byproduct of what comes from a happy marriage: babies! I don't know about you guys, but I love babies; there's something about them that brings so much joy into people's lives. For Latter-day Saints, it's because we believe that when a baby is born, one of God's precious children has begun his or her journey in this world. This is why child-bearing is really important to us, and it's super important to me!

With that being said, it is very evident the impact that child-bearing has on a married couple, and it's often not a good one. Couples go through different phases of relationship satisfaction. Before the wedding and a small bit after, couples overall experience the highest amount of happiness and satisfaction in their relationship. The excitement for a new life together with their love triumphs all other emotions in this blissful period. Things change, however, when a couple has their first child. Studies have shown that the relationship satisfaction in a married couple can take a significant dip when they have their first child, together.

There are many factors that play as to why that is, but I want to discuss one in particular and discuss how to resolve it. To all the women reading this, I'm writing this with you in mind this time, so keep reading to learn how to prevent this drop of satisfaction in your marriage!

Now, let's discuss where the problem lies. As controversial this statement might be, it is no question that women naturally have mother instinct. When a child is born, those instincts kick in, and their attention automatically shifts to the well-being of their child. This is very important, as the new child needs all the attention they can get, but their relationship with the husband starts to change as a result. Studies have shown that husbands a range of negatively emotions when their wives focus on the children. Husbands frequently perceive that they're not appreciated, or that their spouses are not as interested in them as before. Research also shows that husbands view their wives as more disagreeable.

This goes both ways, as well. When the husband feels this way, they tend to withdraw from their wives and children and give their attention to other things. When this happens, the wife tends to often perceive this as selfishness or lack of interest in her and the new child. This causes a rift between the two once-close couples, and their marriage satisfaction takes a steep decline. This is compounded by the fact that the work load for both the wife and the husband are greatly increased with the birth of a new child.

Here is the question: how can a couple avoid this from happening? Well, let me tell you about a man I have a lot of respect for. This man has told me about what his marriage was like when he was having a kid with his wife. He told me about how his wife would tell him about all the things she was experiencing when she was pregnant. She also invited him to be involved in every aspect of her experience, including during pregnancy and after. He said that he felt closer to not only his wife but to his child. The bond between him and his wife grew stronger instead of weaker, and he was able to fall more in love with their child.

To all the women reading this, the best way to strengthen your relationship with your husband during this difficult time is to get him evolved. Open up him about how you're feeling, offer him to help with tasks, and work together with him for your child. Doing that will not only make him feel loved and appreciated, it will help him love your child. As always, comment your thoughts!!